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How to Control Premature Ejaculation



Male ejaculation comes too fast  and intercourse is over too soon


The medical term for this condition is premature ejaculation. It is a very common problem for men and is one of the biggest hurdles in the way of complete sexual satisfaction. In fact, some patients don't even last long enough for vaginal penetration.


The causes of premature ejaculation are complicated. They can range from conflict between the partners to a physical problem. There are many methods to solve the problem.


First, you and your partner should recognize that a very large number of men are troubled by premature ejaculation and have to find ways to deal with it. Surveys have reported that as many as 60% of men have intermittent concerns about how to have longer lasting sex. Surveys also report that approximately 40% of men, sometimes or always, ejaculate within 2 to 3 minutes or less after vaginal penetration.  


I mention these facts to make you and your partner understand that you are far from being alone in this predicament and, therefore, there is no reason for low self-esteem on this account. This understanding is an important first step towards overcoming this very common problem.


Communication between sex partners can help greatly. Whenever possible, both partners should discuss what is happening and try to work together. Many ejaculation control techniques require mutual cooperation. Both together should try to create an atmosphere that is not rushed or hurried. Always give yourselves space for relaxed lovemaking, free of stress and anxiety.


Other than the above, there are some basic factors for lasting longer in sexual intercourse that need to be addressed, before seeking specific premature ejaculation treatment ...


  1. Full penis erections, that remain completely hard throughout the duration of penis - vagina intercourse till after orgasm, are essential for long lasting sex. Partial erections, or erections that lose hardness during vaginal penetration and before orgasm, will result in ejaculating too fast. Similarly, any anxiety about the size and quality of your erection, or how long your erection will last or about your sexual performance, will inevitably lead to premature ejaculation.

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    Regular and frequent sex acts leading to ejaculation are necessary. Relatively long periods of sexual abstinence between attempts at intercourse will tend to result in premature ejaculation. If infrequent sex is due to the lack or absence of sexual partners, masturbation is a good alternative.

    If, on specific occasions, you anticipate that you are likely to ejaculate too fast, you can try masturbating an hour or two before intercourse, so that you're able to delay ejaculation during sex.

  2. It is important to develop a relaxed, confident attitude towards sex and sexual intercourse, in order to experience the pleasures and joys of long lasting sex.

    One easy way to stay relaxed while making love is to breathe deeply. The body has a natural tendency to breathe deeply during sex. But many men tend fight it, either consciously or unconsciously. Make a deliberate effort to keep breathing deeply, throughout the sex act. This one little change can significantly improve ejaculatory control.


Desensitizing sprays, gels and creams increase ejaculation control and stop premature ejaculation by reducing a man's penis sensations during sexual stimulation. But, since these work by reducing the sensitivity of the penis, they very significantly reduce the sexual pleasure for the male. 

However, the increased control over ejaculation does enhance the confidence of the man in his performance. Over time, the enhanced confidence and repeated practice of successful intercourse may enable one to reduce and eventually eliminate the use of the desensitizing products.


There are many penis de-sensitizing creams, gels, sprays on the market. Some recommended desensitizing products are:



Sta-Hard Cherry Flavor - good for oral sex

Body Action Prolong Lube

Physical methods

There are certain physical techniques and training methods that can help improve ejaculatory control.


The start-stop-squeeze method originated by Masters and Johnson consists of stopping stimulation just before ejaculation and squeezing the penis hard enough to partially lose the erection. The steps are as follows:

  • Step 1. Begin sexual activity as usual, including stimulation of the penis, until you feel almost ready to ejaculate.

  • Step 2. Have your partner squeeze the end of your penis, at the point where the head (glans) joins the shaft, and maintain the squeeze for several seconds, until the urge to ejaculate passes.

  • Step 3. After the squeeze is released, wait for about half a minute, then go back to foreplay. You may notice that squeezing the penis causes it to become less erect, but when sexual stimulation is resumed, it soon regains full erection.

  • Step 4. If you again feel you're about to ejaculate, have your partner repeat the squeeze process.

By repeating this as many times as necessary, you can reach the point of entering your partner without ejaculating. After a few practice sessions, the feeling of knowing how to delay ejaculation should become a habit and you should no longer require the squeeze technique.


Prescription Medication


In the unlikely event that the steps outlined above do not solve the problem, there remains the option of prescription drugs. Certain antidepressants, including the group called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) cause a side effect of delayed sexual climax in most people. You will need to discuss with your doctor.


However, it has been our experience that for 99% of men with premature ejaculation problems, the suggestions given above will solve the problem and the need for prescription drugs will not arise.



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